Boat Reynolds

Nothing gets people as damp and loose as Yak Ylub. But not for Boat’s lack of trying.

This has been the second local sporting organisation that he has joined in recent seasons, and it is the one to which he is best suited. With an unwavering commitment to quick erections and low thrill performances, both Boat and the Ylub have carved a niche that allows them to penetrate as much of the target market as possible.

Despite his many and varied character deficiencies, Boat has endeared himself to the Cabinet through his artistic flair and sharp eye for style. Ylub members were fortunate that in 2018 he turned his talents to patch production. As a limited run souvenir, each represents the chance that a drunken sleepover with Boat will finally be publicly acknowledged. His contributions to our wardrobes should never be underestimated, without this man our Armoury would stand empty and our hats would forever be mismatched.

His contributions to the Ylub exceed the aesthetics. Many yaktivities find us navigating the path less trodden with risks unknown, so if you need a guinea pig to take a leap of faith; Boat Reynolds will always be your man. Stylistically he might be a genius, but he’s a wild motherfucker from the paddle to the penis.